What do you want to be when you grow up?

Do you remember when in grade school the teacher would ask what, at the time, was the most important question in your life?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Not what do you want to DO when you grow up but  rather “what do you want to BE when you grow up?”.

Every boy and girl in the class knew right away or at least they thought they did. Veterinarian, lawyer, teacher, athlete, doctor, actress etc. We immediately knew what we wanted to do. There was a great clarity within the room. We had, in a single moment, answered what we thought was the greatest question we would face in our lifetime. The experience was instinctual…it was pure.

Alas, in time, the majority of us fell short. Some followed through and succeeded. Some became fixated on achieving that goal and lived that path at the expense of new dreams. Some became fixated because it was expected of them. The old example of my dad was an accountant, my grandfather was an accountant and I am, as much as I hate it,  destined to be an accountant comes to mind. My dad wore acid wash jeans, my grandfather wore acid wash jeans and I am, as much as I hate it, destined to wear acid wash jeans! YIKES!

Go back to the classroom and listen to the question again. What do you want to BE when you grow up? Not “what do you want to do?”. What you DO does not define you. What you BEcome does.

Furthermore, the question is qualified by the notion that we need to grow up to BE who we want to be. I have learned that growing up often meant disconnecting with the very spirit that gives us life! I retired from football, grew up and took a computer programming course that I never wanted to take.That was a $17,000 mistake! I grew up and dated a woman that was not right for me, I grew up and became a stranger to myself and missed out on creative, life altering opportunities. I grew up and began to fear failure. Now, I feel a sense of panic trying to go back in time like Marty McFly in a bid to re-capture that childlike spirit.

Yes, we mature, we gain wisdom, we garner a greater understanding of the world but that does not mean we need to grow up. We learn to protect our dreams from those who have given up, those who choose to define you in a single moment.

Growing up means being worried about falling and getting a little dirty. The fact is, life is a wear and tear experience or at least it should be. When and if I get to the pearly gates I want God to laugh out loud when he see’s me making my way toward him.

We grow from one dream to another but we do not grow out of the right to dream. We grow out of the obsession to define ourselves and in turn avoid being defined by others. Our individual childlike passion and sense of adventure is the foundation of success for many great men and women. Successful people often give to charities that nurture and celebrate the very same childlike spirit that they protected, procured and trusted through the years.

What we choose to be, be it a great parent, son, daughter, friend, peer, boss etc. is a by-product of who we choose to be.

If I could go back in time and answer the question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I would reply, “be great!”

By being great I will naturally find what I want to do…what I am passionate about and all that I will ever need will come to me. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it!

I was fortunate to have played football at an elite level. Looking back, I can remember a couple of the key games but more importantly I remember my teammates, opponents and the injuries. One ACL repair, 4 knee scopes, separated shoulder, broken nose, torn rib cartilage, 3-4 concussions etc. As much as it hurt I can tell you it would have hurt more if I spent my time wishing I had chosen football and never had the experience. My worst day on the football field wasn’t that bad because I chose to be there. I chose not to grow up!